The Dream
by The Steel Angel
Summary: Rachel gets in touch with her feelings toward Jake


The Dream  
  
By Wickedclowns101  
  
Author Notes - Did you ever have a dream, that felt so real? When you woke, would you be able to tell the difference between the dream world, and the real world?  
  
"Dum dum da dum, dum da dum, dum da dum." Marco hummed.  
  
"What are you doing?" I asked. He looked up at me.  
  
"Star Wars. I was humming the theme from Star Wars." He said.  
  
"Marco. You live with aliens. Do you really have to hum a song about aliens?" I demanded.  
  
"Do not diss the force." He started breathing hard, the way Darth Vader does. I rolled my eyes, and stood up.  
  
it was early. About seven in the morning. Today was going to be just like any other day. Waiting. Always waiting. Waiting to see how much longer Cassie and Jake avoid each other.  
  
Waiting for Jake to totally lose it.  
  
And waiting to see if today was going to be the day the yeerks stormed our secret valley. I was sick to death of playing the waiting game. I had told Jake numerous times, that we shouldn't sit up here, and wait to be killed. We should be at ground zero, fighting.  
  
But always, he said the same thing.  
  
"Rachel, we can't march down there. It would be suicidal. We're the worlds only chance, and if we're out of it, that's the ball game."  
  
I was sick of all of them.  
  
Sick of Marco's taunting.  
  
Sick of Cassie's moralizing.  
  
Sick of Tobias' doubt.  
  
Sick of Ax's blind loyalty.  
  
And sick of Jake period.  
  
And if he wouldn't help me, I'd go down there myself.  
  
I knew I was right. I should be the leader. Jake might have been what we needed when we were fighting a subversive war, but in an all out war, who better to have than me?  
  
My mind flashed back, months ago. Back to when I had been in charge. I had failed. I thought I was doing a good job, but I was really hurting us. Letting Cassie get captured, and killing that old man.  
  
I shook my head. "That's ancient history, Rach." I said to myself.  
  
My mind flashed again. This time, back to when I encountered David, and the evil of the universe, Crayak. He gave me an offer. Made me invincible. And all for the price of one life. Jake's life.  
  
Should I have accepted?  
  
I put my fists to my head.  
  
"No. I'm not a murderer!" I said. But my conscience was arguing with me.  
  
Yes you are Rachel. You've killed many, many, sentient creatures. You thrive on the heat of a battle. You love to spill blood.  
  
"They started it!" I hissed.  
  
I felt someone grab me. I looked up. it was Jake.  
  
"Rachel? Are you okay???" he asked.  
  
I stood up, and shrugged him off.  
  
"I'm fine Jake." I said roughly.  
  
"You didn't look fine. And I know you weren't fine." He was really pushing it.  
  
"Back off Jake. You have no idea. You don't know the first thing about me." I said.  
  
"Oh but I do. I know more about you than you know about yourself. You don't even realize, that you're pushing everyone away from you. Even your own blood." Jake's words hit home. Was I really pushing everyone away from me?  
  
"Bullshit." I said  
  
"Don't you `Bullshit' me, Rachel. If you want to remain in the fight, you have to keep some level of sanity." He said.  
  
"I told you before Jake. I know where the line is. I wont cross it." I said. I meant it.  
  
"I hope so, Rachel. I really hope so. Because if you don't, then you're more of a threat to us than David was." He said. My insides burned, as he mentioned David.  
  
David was a mistake created by us. The sixth animorph. We created him when he found the morphing cube, and had no other choice. He tried to destroy us, and almost succeeded.  
  
"You compare me to that... that rat?!?!" I raged.  
  
"It's the same deal Rachel. If you take stupid risks, and lose yourself in a fight, then you put us all in danger." He said.  
  
"Every time we go out there, we put ourselves in danger. Cassie, or Marco, or Ax could get caught just as easily." I said.  
  
"No Rachel. When you go into a battle, it's like an alcoholic going into a liquor store. You lose your grip on reality. All you think about is who you can kill next." He said.  
  
His words hurt. Was it true? Did my cousin really see me as some psychopath unable to control my rage?  
  
"I love you Rachel. And I'm worried about you." He said, touching my shoulder.  
  
Did Jake really love me? It was hard to tell. I'd have to ask Marco. Cassie would be the one to ask, but she's too emotionally tied to both of us. Marco would be straightforward.   
  
"Jake. I need to be alone right now. I need some time to think." I said.  
  
Jake looked at me, worried for a few seconds, then threw up his hands.  
  
"Okay Rachel. Take everything I've said and throw it out the window." He turned and walked away. I looked at Marco. He's heard everything of course, but didn't say anything.  
  
I concentrated on the image of a bald eagle, and began to morph.  
  
I have morphed, surely hundreds of times. I will still never be used to it. My skin retracted, and began to melt. Tiny feather patterns etched themselves in my skin, and then shot out as real feathers. I was shrinking, and my toes had melted together to form yellow talons.  
  
My finger bones elongated, and hollowed, forming my wings. My vision sharpened. My hearing became much more acute.  
  
I spread my wings. I was a bald eagle. I ran along the ground for a few yards, to gain momentum, than I flapped my wings, and lifted off.  
  
I soared over the valley. I saw the tiny forms of Hork-bajir walking down below. I also saw a few humans. My mother and sisters, Marco's parents, Cassie's parents, and Tobias' mother.  
  
Jake's parents had not been so lucky as to be rescued. After Tom learned that Jake was an animorph, his parents had been taken immediately.  
  
Going flying, and you didn't tell me? I looked over my shoulder.  
  
Tobias.  
  
Just blowing off some steam. I said.  
  
Ah. What's been bugging you? he asked.  
  
All of a sudden, I really didn't want Tobias there. Didn't want him to see me in this condition.  
  
Rachel? he prodded.  
  
Tobias. I need some time alone. I said. My voice sounded like stone. Hard and cold.  
  
Oh, okay. See you later. he veered off. Was that sarcasm? Or did I really hurt his feelings. I couldn't worry about that now.   
  
I flew over the head of Toby, the young Hork-bajir seer. The Hork-bajir are a gentle tree dwelling species. And not too bright. Toby is the exception to the rule. So she is their leader.  
  
Hiya Toby. I called. She looked up at me and waved.  
  
I saw my mother, and sisters. Holding each other tightly, still afraid.  
  
I flapped a few more times before catching a thermal, and soaring up into the clouds. I flew to the ruins, which used to be our town. Now, nothing but ashes, and rubble.  
  
I flew to the ex-Yeerk pool. That gave me a small twinge of comfort. To know that we finally destroyed it. I perched on a street pole, just a block or so from where our school used to be. I just watched. Humans scrounging everything they could, and running. Running from the Yeerk terror.  
  
Amazing. Isn't it? The voice startled me. I turned around to see Ax, perched about two hundred yards away.  
  
What do you want, Ax? I said roughly.  
  
I saw you leave the camp. I thought, that maybe you would like to have a talk with someone that you do not have emotional ties too. he said.  
  
Ax, you know that I consider you a very close -   
  
No you do not Rachel. I know the truth, and so do you. There is no point in denying it. he said.  
  
Ax, tell me... what do you really see me as? I asked.  
  
Would you like me to be perfectly honest? I have heard, that the truth may sometimes hurt. he said.  
  
Tell the truth Ax. I said.  
  
He took a deep breath, and sighed. I think, that when you are in a battle, your personality changes. You become a violent prone person, with no regard for anything but your own need to kill. he said.  
  
You're right. The truth does hurt. I said.  
  
I am sorry, Rachel. I did not mean to - I cut him off.  
  
It's not your fault, Ax. I told you to be honest. Let's go back to camp. I spread my wings.  
  
Of course. he lifted off.  
  
*~*  
  
"Marco?" I knocked lightly on the door to his bunk.  
  
"I don't want to go to school," he grumbled.  
  
"Marco!" I hissed. I picked up a small rock and threw it at his head.  
  
"Oww!!!" he sat up in his bed, and looked toward the doorway.  
  
"You know, Rachel. Perhaps belting me with rocks isn't the perfect way to say you care." He said dryly, and rubbed his head.  
  
"I need to talk to you." I said. I took his arm, and led him out into the forest.  
  
"This had better be good." He said.  
  
"I need to talk to you about Jake." I said. He turned away from me.  
  
"Oh no, I'm not getting involved in this. If you two want to go at each others throats, then by all means, do so. But don't drag me in the middle." He said.  
  
"Marco, listen!" I said angrily.   
  
"You aren't PMSing are you?" he asked. I grabbed a tuft of his hair, and twisted.  
  
"Sit. Down." I commanded.  
  
"Okay, okay. Don't rip my hair out!" he sat.  
  
"Marco, you're Jake's best friend. Tell me, what does he really think of me?" I asked. Marco looked at me.  
  
"Rachel, don't make me do this," he said. I twisted my hand.  
  
"Okay!!! He's afraid of you, Rachel. Afraid that one day, you're gonna blow, and no one will be able to stop you. He's afraid that you'll... kill... him." Marco said. I let go of his hair.  
  
"Are... are you serious?" I asked. He nodded.  
  
"He loves you, Rachel." Marco added.  
  
I leaned over, and hugged Marco.  
  
"Thanks." I whispered. He smiled.  
  
"Any time, Xena."  
  
*~*  
  
Everybody out! Jake yelled. The Hork-bajir camp was being raided by the yeerks. We fought the first wave, but reinforcements kept pouring in, until all odds were lost.  
  
Come here, you piece of... I screamed. I was in my grizzly bear morph, and I was mad.  
  
Rachel! Get out! Tobias yelled.  
  
No! I can take them! I yelled. I could take all of them. They'd be sorry they ever came to this planet.  
  
Rachel! You're bleeding! You can't see all of the reinforcements! Jake yelled.  
  
Shut up Jake! I yelled.  
  
No! he was next to me in a flash. He let loose a roar that made every Hork-bajir cringe. But I didn't.  
  
You want this fight Jake? I screamed.  
  
No, I don't. but if need be, I'll use force to get your ass out of here! he said. I roared, and leapt at him. He was too fast. He was on my back in a flash, and clawing at my neck. I swung my mighty paw backward and... I saw Jake fly forward, limp.  
  
Marco scooped him up, and retreated. I followed.  
  
When we were safe, we all demorphed. All except Jake.  
  
"You... you killed him." Cassie said.  
  
I looked at him. His spine was sticking out through the neck.  
  
Marco turned around to throw up.  
  
Ax turned to me.  
  
You're actions are unforgivable. Conscious murder of a superior officer. he said coldly.  
  
"I... I... I..." I stammered.  
  
Cassie started to cry. Marco wrapped his arms around her, and glared at me.  
  
"So. Jake was right." He said.  
  
Ax was turned away from me, his tail raised high toward me. A sign of disrespect. I turned to Tobias for support.  
  
I saw him take off, and fly high into the horizon.  
  
"Ja-"  
  
*~*  
  
My eyes snapped open. I sat up in bed, and felt myself. I looked around. I was in my barrack.  
  
"A dream?" I whispered to myself. I ran out of the cabin, with my nightgown still wrapped around me. I ran through the cold valley, to Jake's cabin. I flung open the door, and found him sleeping in his bed.  
  
I wrapped my arms around him, waking him up.  
  
"Rachel!! What are you doing???" he demanded angrily.  
  
I smiled. "Oh Jake. You're alive!" I hugged him.  
  
"Bad dream?" he asked. I nodded.  
  
"Care to tell me about it?" he asked.  
  
"No. not right now. Tomorrow. I'm just so glad you aren't dead." I said.  
  
"I'm pretty glad about that too, cousin."  
  
FIN  
  
End notes - Like it? Love it? Hate it? Any review is appreciated. Tell me what you think. I spent a whole two days writing this, so keep that in mind. 


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